Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sound Familiar?

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store, (less a walk than a lumber).
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cocoa and fudge balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I always said, "Yes, thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the toffee, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional poundage has vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll only just chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


caitlinhart said...

haha! I hope you wrote that yourself cause it's hilarious!

e. said...

My thoughts exactly. That is really cute, thanks for sharing!

The Wiese's said...

LOL that's hilarious! I'm going to steal it and put it on the weight loss blog I'm doing with my family. Hope that's okay with you. Oh man, that gave me a hearty chuckle!